Flexing Your Awkward Strengths

Well, it looks like I’m fulfilling my monthly post promise just under the wire! What does this mean? That I’ve gotten my groove back? That I’m on my way to success after all? That 2020 will be MY year?

I dunno.

But I do know this: funnily enough, one of my best performing posts (long-term) is “Ending My Stigma Against Myself,” where I talk about my Myers-Briggs personality breakdown and the general negative attitude around my personality type, INTJ. So I thought I would seize this opportunity to talk about another personality assessment that I think is a bit more comprehensive than Myers-Briggs and definitely better for one’s self-esteem.

Recently, for work, I had to do a Clifton Strengths Finder. This personality test is similar to Myers-Briggs, but instead, it describes your personality…you guessed it…through STRENGTHS.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is this one, often attributed to Albert Einstein (which may be true. I take most popular internet quote attributions with a grain of skepticism): “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” It’s such a worthy reminder that everyone has natural talents and thus everyone has the potential to thrive, if only we could be better about teaching people to cultivate their unique genius.

As a society, we are very focused on shortcomings. We harp on the D in math rather than the A in history. We look for the ways we can do better. We get feedback whether we want it or not, and I think many of us are conditioned to believe we want it all the time. That’s fine! We should try to be our best selves. Sometimes, our best selves aren’t good at math either. That’s okay!

I do not think we are focused enough on what we are good at and what that could mean for our futures. We obsess over “the American dream.” We romanticize the fact that Rudy overcame his obstacles to win the football game, rather than assessing the amount of influencing and executive strengths he must have possessed to get there. We tell people they can do anything they want to do if they’re willing to put in the “blood, sweat, and tears.” And like Rudy, they probably can. But why don’t we reframe the conversation? Why don’t we tell each other how to use our strengths rather than conquer our weaknesses?

As many of you know, I struggle with my career choices. I often feel like I have failed to find the right job or path for me. This is another sad consequence of the American Dream—the obsession with the hustle, the constant negative feeling that you’re not working hard enough, the pushing yourself until you’ve achieved greatness. Why should we glorify struggling when we can encourage and empower people through what they’re good at? It seems like a way to build a happier society. Once you learn how to own your strengths, you can become a more confident person.  And once you are confident in your strengths, you can own your weaknesses. Once you own your weaknesses, you can let go of them.

Sometimes, the stigma around the INTJ personality type makes me think, “Yeesh, no wonder I’m such a mess.” When I reflect on my day or my life (especially in a social situation), I obsess over what I could have done or said better.

When I look at the results of my Clifton Strengths Finder, I think, “Who wouldn’t want to hire me?”

For anyone who is curious, here are my five Clifton Strengths themes:

Input: I have a freaky good memory.

Strategic: I can identify patterns, define possibilities, and determine a good course of action (brought to you by anxiety!)

Learner: I go out of my way to gain new knowledge.

Intellection: I take time to think through things and make sense of them.

Achiever: I get shit done.

While it costs money to take the Clifton test (unless you have nice employers like I do), there are plenty of similar tests you can take for free. Does it necessarily clarify any personal or professional goals for myself? No, not necessarily, but I think the peace of mind, sense of self, and newfound belief it brings are important. It helps me find courage in all the awkward. It confirms that I do not have people skills, and it also helps me appreciate my colleagues who do and be unafraid to ask them for help. Whether you are good with people, puzzles, persuasion, or punctuality, those are all beautiful forms of genius that deserve to be celebrated!

And so, my assignment to you, awkwardteers, is to think about your genius. Think about your strengths and flex them like nobody’s watching. Or rather, flex it like everybody’s watching so they can be very impressed with you! You go, you lovely creature!