No, I do not work next door to David Tennant. Dreams do come true, but not those dreams.
I do, however, work next door to a man who looks…exactly…like…David freaking Tennant. And he is British and awesome. And naturally, I want him to think I’m cool.
…And naturally, when I want people to think I’m cool, my tactics for said coolness usually result in some sort of natural disaster. Here comes Hurricane Awkward! Whoosh!
So…I’ve never actually really said a word to the guy other than, “Hello,” because I know what I would do if I let it get any further.
He is still incredibly nice to me: always smiling, saying, “Good morning,” etc. Probably because he hears my coworkers and me talking about his David Tennant-ness constantly.
Here are some things I’ve thought about doing that you definitely should not do when you find yourself face-to-face with an FDA-approved David Tennant doppelganger.
-Stare at him without responding to his greeting because your thought process is always as such: 1) Is that David Tennant? 2) Did David Tennant just say hi to me?
-When he comments on the lobby art, say, “Better than angel statues, am I right?”
-When he pretend-chides you for being late, use the term, “Wibbly wobbly timey-wimey stuff.”
-When he excuses himself from conversation: “Have fun in your tardis…I mean…office.”
-Refer to his grumpy-old-man office mate as his “companion.”
-Do your best impression of Detective Alec Hardy by saying, “Miller” over and over in a heavy Scottish accent.
-Ask him anything about Sandbrook.
-Call him Kilgrave whenever he goes with the purple tie. Follow-up with a sinister, “Jess-i-ca.”
-Pretend he can control your mind.
-Yell, “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!” As you walk away from him.
-Ask if Professor Moody is in his filing cabinet.
See guys, I’m learning!
P.S. Special shout-out to my friend, Tom, who wrote a wonderfully entertaining awkward-inspired Valentine’s Day entry. Tom’s an awesome writer, and you should read his blog here.